Yes, it is for orals.
Every day trending ata sa Twitter ang results ng orals since it has started. October came in, sobrang stressed out and toxic na ang buong Archeans due to too much academic demands and too little time. Minsan na-experience ko na sobrang tumunganga na lang literally, sa sobrang pagod and at the same time thinking if I could still do it. Sabi nga ni Ma'am Lim kanina when she prayed for us before we went to our respective rooms for orals, na we have gone this far.. ngayon pa ba kami bibitaw? Very true. Time has been fleeing so fast, hindi ko na nga napansin na natapos na kami ng 9th semester namin out of 10 (Shocks isa na lang) and that I have already conquered my greatest fear by testing my ability to express myself through this oral revalida.
One week before my orals I had been so impatient waiting for my turn because the agony was sooo prolonged that I am assigned to the last day. Honestly sobrang inggit ako sa lahat ng batchmates ko na nagbbrag about what they picked and how their orals went through. But it was also actually ironic dahil hindi pa rin ako prepared, though gusto ko na matapos. Haha. Anyway, I had that edge of time to prepare so I was able to finish 25 out of 30 diseases. Yung 5 na hindi ko naaral, it was actually communicable diseases. Bukod sa nagkaron ako ng shortage of time to review those, ayoko rin talaga aralin yun because I simply do not like the topic. And it was already in my mind na HINDI ko mabubunot yun. Ever.
I really believed in the power of the mind. Humingi din ako ng signs kay Lord kung anong mabubunot ko. He immediately gave me an answer (akala ko, yun na talaga) There were so many signs na nakita ko--- may nakasabay ako one time na nakacast sa fx, tapos the night after, I dreamt exactly of my clinical instructor with me tapos Osteoporosis daw nabunot ko; the same day I went to Mezza with my friends and saw a lot of Anlene around, I also saw one of my batchmates holding a copy of the pathophysiology of Osteoporosis. Grabe. Sabi ko nga sa Kanya, "Lord, isa lang naman hinihingi ko, ang dami nyong binigay" Kidding aside, well I studied that disease very carefully not because of too much hope na sana yun ang mabunot ko but in case na mangyari yun, at least I am prepared.
October 22, Saturday. It was 2:00 in the morning when I woke up. I was not able to return back to sleep because my anxiety level became higher and higher every time, and I can't really sleep. Nung nasa holding room na ko, 7:45am I felt like---- omg ito na yun. At last you're here and the agony will be over anytime soon. Second batch ako, I had a little more time to adjust and set my mind that it is my judgment day. Mam Lim called my name, finally. I did my very best and with all the luck of my hand, I picked up one paper from Iglot. Unti unti ko pang binuksan (Pasuspense?) tapos nakita ko: Bitanghol, A.
OMG. AS IN OH MY GOD. Fifteen silang CI, imagine. Tapos of all the clinical instructors siya pa nabunot ko. Wala namang problema kay Sir Alex. I had a big problem because I wasn't able to study CD. For a moment I stood still and felt like a statue of ice =))) Sobrang nanlamig ako at pinagpawisan ng beri hard. It was the most remarkable moment of my life so far. But of course, I didn't have the choice! Alangan namang ibalik ko yung paper kay Iglot. It was a matter of life and death. Either I stay or I go, either I live or I die.
Well, I chose to go and die.
I went to the room where I am supposed to report and faced my greatest fear. Para akong sumabak sa laban ng walang dalang armas :))) I trusted my own instincts and capacity. Bago ko lumapit kay Sir, I told myself that I can do it. Pinabunot na nya ako pero dalawang cases lang yung nasa kanya (Leptospirosis, Rabies) at wala naman akong choice kahit yung Malaria lang yung alam ko kasi wala naman dun. Napilitan na lang talaga. Go kung go. Ayoko na kumuha ng pangalawang case 'cuz its a sign of weakness, as for me. When I got the case, I read it very carefully like thrice ata yun before ako nakapagcome up ng cues and the patho. Honestly it was so hard for me to generate a pathophysiology na hindi ko naman talaga alam yung disease process. Ang alam ko lang, Rhabdovirus ang viral agent ng Rabies at yung traditional compensatory mechanism ng lahat ng virus eh nagmmultiply sa bloodstream at meron laging portal of entry, reservoir, portal of exit =)))) Hahaha. All those knowledge that I had, ginamit ko lang, pero bahala na.
Sir Alex asked me a lot of questions but I answered it with all my might, based on my instincts only. Hahahaha. Ang lakas ng loob ko, grabe. Probably because I asked for God's guidance at alam ko habang nagsusulat ako sa whiteboard, kasama ko Siya. Well His graces worked on me. That 45 minute glory of expressing myself and proving what I have learned for the past two semesters, I am really thankful for it. Kahit hindi na-meet yung expectations ko, okay lang rin.
The moment I walked out the room I had mixed emotions. I don't know how to feel, because at some point I was disappointed. Kumbaga sa DABDA eh nasa Bargaining stage na ko. I was asking myself "Bakit hindi si Ma'am Verain nabunot ko para Respi na lang?" (Fyi: I was chanting 30 mins before my orals, telling na sana respi sana respi sana respi. Okay lang kahit ano wag lang cd wag lang cd wag lang cd) Hahaha. Funny but true enough. Sabi ko nga kasi I always believed in the power of the mind, but I am questioned why it didn't work for me the time I actually needed it most.
Agony's over... and there are three things that I have learned, yun ang pinakamahalaga. First, God won't give us trials that we could not handle. Maybe at first I was telling myself na grabe sobrang mapagbiro ni God, sabi ko nga sa kanya kahit ano, wag lang yung CD. But He gave me that. I know, He has His own purpose kung bakit yun ang ibinigay nya sakin. Probably He knows best that I CAN DO IT, AND I CAN HANDLE IT. Second, you can't get everything that you want. Minsan, talagang life would have to disappoint you with such things. Life is full of surprises, at talagang kanina... sobrang nasurprise ako.:)))) Lastly, expectations hurt. From the start pa lang talaga dapat di na ko nagexpect na all the outcomes would turn out to be good :) Sometimes I just have to learn to accept. And still I am very very thankful because I have reached this far.
Now, I can finally say....... I AM DONE WITH ORAL REVALIDA AND PASSED IT WITH GOD'S WILL. May this serve as an inspiration to all other batches who will take this exam. Writing and sharing this makes me realize na, grabe... ang sarap ng feeling.
See you, next sem.
(Oo, I am claiming it!)
Congratulations!
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